Rejection therapy

Photo by Lera Yudina on Unsplash

Lately, I've come across several videos about rejection therapy, which are fascinating. Rejection therapy is a technique where you gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger fear, particularly the fear of rejection. It's an excellent exercise for people with lower levels of anxiety who want to become more comfortable with the idea of being rejected. For example, imagine you're at an airport and decide to announce, "It's my birthday!" something most people would never do. But that's exactly what rejection therapy is about: pushing yourself to do the "impossible." Another example might be asking a random stranger for help, not because you need assistance but to challenge yourself and step out of your comfort zone. Rejection therapy encourages you to embrace awkwardness and divert attention to yourself while learning to handle rejection.

Rejection therapy, which is essentially a social self-help game, was founded by Jason Comely. One of its most famous advocates, Jia Jiang, took on the challenge of completing 100 days of rejection. Each day, he would attempt something that had a high probability of rejection and document his experiences online. While uncomfortable, Jiang’s journey highlights that rejection is an inevitable part of life. In his words:

"When you get rejected in life when facing the next obstacle or failure, consider the possibilities; don't run. The people who change the world, who change the way we live and the way we think, are the people who were met with initial rejection. These people don't allow rejection to define them. They let their reaction after rejection define them."

Engaging in rejection therapy takes real courage. But it doesn't have to involve grand gestures like screaming at the airport. Rejection therapy can start with small, everyday actions: greeting a stranger, striking up a conversation in public, or even asking for feedback after a job interview. It's about pushing yourself to embrace discomfort and break free from self-imposed limits.

The core of rejection therapy is building confidence and learning to tolerate rejection. While everyone's experience is different, practicing rejection therapy certainly offers a practical way to desensitize yourself to the sting of rejection and anxiety. I've found that doing something unusual or even strange can unexpectedly brighten my day.

Ultimately, rejection therapy embodies the philosophy of not allowing rejection to define you. Instead, it’s your reaction to rejection that shapes who you are. As you face rejection, you learn resilience and grow stronger.

Now, let me leave you with a few questions to reflect on: